I understand why they say high school never ends

There have been a few moments in the past two years at University when I have felt like I was in high school again. Mostly it was when I would talk to people about assignments and we could complain about what we didn't like, or talk about what we had found out. And some of the people would inevitably regurgitate information from the lecturers, tutors or from books (once I actually guessed who someone's tutor was because they took a perspective from the tutor and said it almost verbatim). The issue there is more about critical thinking and awareness, and it is a topic for another day.

One of the things I did not like about high school, one of the things that really annoyed, frustrated and sometimes downright upset me, was the whispering. The talking behind peoples backs, being their friends only on the face-value of friendship, and disregarding the feelings of others when the situation called for it. I thought that was purely a phenomenon experienced by high school kids.

Ok, I know some workplaces can be similar, but you generally know what you've signed up for when you go to work. High school is supposed to, in theory, shape you and the friendships you make there seem more real than those aquaintanceships you might make in a workplace.

Once people have gone through high school and experienced so-called friends backstab, ditch, ignore and hurt them, it can be easy to think that everyone takes away a few lessons about how to treat people. And I guess therein lies a problem for me. I made the mistake of assuming that if I encouraged people to talk to me when they felt they had a problem, especially if I was a part of that problem), then they would feel comfortable being upfront with me about things. Or not, as the recent cases have proved to me.

I feel like I'm back in high school again in some ways, only the first time around the whispering and avoiding was something I was lucky enough to not often be personally involved in. Sometimes I was, as I think most people have been, but more often it was friends or classmates I saw treated as though they were something unpleasant on the bottom of someone's shoes.

Why people aren't upfront is a mystery to me. Maybe they don't want to hurt people. Maybe they don't want to create conflict (and instead opt for almost palpable tension). Or maybe they unwittingly make mountains out of molehills which, let's face it, we all did back in high school.